I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
