I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
