I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
