Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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