fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
