I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
