At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize