the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
