Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
