Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
