Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
