I want to stick my p in your. b.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
