who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
