I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
