This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
