I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
