The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
