Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
