I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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