At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
