woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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