Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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