it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
