Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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