She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
