Kiss
Puke
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
