I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
