so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
porn star boner night. come get it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
