It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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