you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
