So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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