Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
