Define "chronic" masturbator.
if only i could text you this smell
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
