we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
