I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
