Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
