At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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