Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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