eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
