i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
