You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
