He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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