break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
