She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
