i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
