Are we in a gay sports bar?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
