It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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