it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
