that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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