last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
