david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
