Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
