this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
