I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
