remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize