There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
