lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
