real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
