He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
