scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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