mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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