absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
