I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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