I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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