Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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